Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to make out with him forever
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
