apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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