how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
