This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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