Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
