So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize