Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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