i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize