i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
