she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
