I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
