New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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