Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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