I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
