It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
