Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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