laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
