well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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