we have officially lost it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
