I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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