his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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