Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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