he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
