so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
