this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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