I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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