remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
