Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
