Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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