we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
