if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
where are you?
Hypothermia
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
