My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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