I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
