can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
