Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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