maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
