he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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