You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
