your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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