I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize