1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she smelled like a LAN party
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I believe in your delicious
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
