3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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