on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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