So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
