what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize