my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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