Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm way too hungover for life right now
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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