Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
