What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
