it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
