He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
