I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
