I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
