Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
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Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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