Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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