That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
love makes seman taste better
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
