I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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