he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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