So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
