If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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