so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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